Cheesy Cauliflower Patties & Poor Man’s Crab Cakes

Cheesy Cauliflower patties are the latest recipe meme I’ve seen ciruclating, and damn are they good! I’ve had the recipe pinned for a while, and tonight I made a special trip at rush hour, just to get cheddar cheese and eggs, and it was totally worth it.  We ate them at room temperature with a side of Panda’s favorite black-eyed pea salad, but they are just screaming for a winter evening, piping hot on the side of some tomato soup. I also imagine you could bake these instead of frying them, much like Stacey’s cheesy broccoli bites.

At the same time I was wanting to try a similar pattie recipe, sort of a “poor man’s crab cakes”, using artichoke hearts instead of crab meat. I figured it would just be a big pattie night and we’d have a lot leftover for lunch. Ha. I’m writing this with a tremendously full stomach and Jeeps is passed out on the floor. Since I stuffed myself, you’re going to get stuffed with both recipes as well. It’s only fair I share.

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Cheesy Cauliflower Bites

The best thing about these babies is that there are four ingredients:

  • 1 head cauliflower
  • 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese
  • 1/2 cup bread crumbs (panko, plain, flavored, whatever)
  • 2 eggs

Cut the cauliflower into florets and drop into boiling water for about 10 minutes, until fork tender. Drain and mash. Let cool slightly.

Put cheddar cheese and bread crumbs into a bowl. Add cauliflower and eggs, mix thoroughly.

Form into patties and fry in olive or coconut oil until golden brown, about 4 minutes per side. Salt the patties after you’ve flipped them. Drain on paper towels, then keep on a baking sheet in a 175-200 oven while you cook the rest.

Poor Man’s Crab Cakes

  • 1 can artichoke hearts (cut each heart into quarters, then crosswise. Squeeze as much water out as possible before putting in bowl)
  • 2 scallions, chopped
  • 1/2 red bell pepper, chopped (I realized too late I’d used up both my scallions and last red pepper in the black-eyed pea salad, oops)
  • 1/2 cup breadcrumbs
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 tsp Dijon mustard
  • 1 tbsp lemon juice
  • 2 tbsp mayo
  • 1/2 tsp Worcestershire
  • 1 tsp Old Bay seasoning (which I didn’t have so it wasn’t the true faux crab cake experience, oops)

Combine all ingredients, form into patties and fry.

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